The Mother in Me

For almost four years, it is my mother who really took care of my baby. It started from the day I gave birth to her.

I can still remember July 13, 2006 when I gave birth to Lian. I know from that day that I am already a mother but there are so many things which keep on bothering me. How can I be a good mother to this little baby knowing that I don't know how to change baby's diaper, I don't know how to clean her, how to bath her, how to prepare her milk and worst, how to take care of her if she cries.

All my worries strikes me once. Mama went home that day to get my things and then hubby went downstairs to check our baby's birth certificate. There it is! Lian start crying. I started to panic because I don't know what to do. I don't know what she want. Is she hungry or if she wants to pee? I check Mama and hubby but they're not there yet which means that I really need to take care of baby myself. From that day, I learned all the answers to my worries so I'm a worry free Mom now.

I'm not really a hands-on Mom. Mama always take care of everything about Lian and I think that's the reason why she's not so close to me. She's much closer to her grandma and to her Dad.

One day, we encountered a certain thing which will change my career forever. We can't really find someone as good as my Mom to take care of our baby. Even if everybody in the family were searching for a good nanny, we really can't find one. I remembered going to work crying that day.

I pray to God asking for his assistance so I can make the right decision. It's so fast. I just sit infront of the table and the answer was there infront of me. From that day, I decided to quit my job as an HR practitioner and dedicate my life to my daughter and my husband. Some people keeps on telling that we can't survive if only my husband will work but I just tell myself to trust God with all of my heart.

After two weeks of personally taking care of my daughter, I could say that I really made the right decision because I saw what kind of kid she was when I was not there.
Today, it's still quite hard for both of us but I really try my best to be right beside her whenever she needed me.